They felt important and valued because someone was paying attention to them and trying to improve their work environment. What they eventually realized was that the workers were actually responding to the attention they were getting from the researchers. They couldn't figure out why the workers were performing better when they made these changes, even when the changes seemed to make things harder for the workers. And every time they made a change, the workers performed better. The researchers went on to change other things in the factory, like the temperature and the number of breaks the workers were allowed to take. They found that the workers did indeed work better when the lighting was improved.īut then something strange happened. The first thing the researchers did was to change the lighting in one part of the factory. The researchers wanted to see if changing the lighting in the factory would affect how the workers performed. I experiencing the joy of loving and keeping things in proper perspective and priority.The experiment was done in the 1920s at a factory called Hawthorne Works. Take a look at the opportunity you have for love and joy from the perspective of a guy who suffered loss and decided to do some things differently. You are not locked in to your failed foundations, dig up the ground and lay some new foundations. What do you want to do differently? What would bring you joy in your relationship. You get a do over too! Today is a new day. This includes not giving away what belongs to her, time being the most precious of those commodities. I’m not going to accommodate anyone when it means diminishing my wife, and I am thankful that she is worthy of such a commitment. Now that God has given me Donna, I know what’s important. When I lost a wife I would have given absolutely anything to have her back. I am going to give her the benefit of the doubt. She might make some mistakes but I am her biggest cheer leader, I am going to believe in her. I am sooooo glad that I said that to her. I told her that I should have told my leader that he was wrong. Many years later, and a few months before Joyce died, we were riding in the car and I looked over at her and said, “By the way….” I referenced the event. I should have done that, I was wrong, and so was my leader for blowing something out of proportion. I should have told my leader that he was wrong and he could just get over it, he would not make my wife feel badly even if I needed to quit on the spot. The worst thing I did in the situation was not stand 100% with her and support her with something that was petty and not a big deal. After my wife died and my mind traced back through the years I felt sorrow for that event because I should have stood with her better. I hurt my wife’s feelings, partly because of my pride, I suppose. Several years ago something happened at an event that cast my wife in a bad light. I get another chance, I’m going to take it seriously. These are just some of the things I wrote in my journal that I’m thankful I have been more intentional about than I was before. … taking two week vacations instead of one week vacations (only two weeks for rest vacations, one week is fine if there is just something particular you want to do that necessitates taking a week off when rest and rebooting is not the point. … taking one unbroken 24 hour day off each week, if you can’t do this… I’m sorry, maybe someday you can … coming home at the end of my scheduled day and leaving unfinished tasks until the next work day, not always easy to do, but I will give priority to the priority … keeping the bags unpacked (this one keeps getting harder) … never raising my voice, but talking calmly through every challenge … finding and enjoying good coffee together … going to bed at the same time every night … sitting at the kitchen table in the mornings and having coffee or breakfast on days off Thinking about this I realized, I did get that second chance and I am doing some things differently.
When it comes to marriage there are some things I would like to get a second chance to do right. The people who are my top priority are the people God has given me to love.
People are God’s priority, so they should be mine. Life is lived in the context of relationships. Not possible… and then I realized, I DID get a do over… Yes, we would all be billionaires and a lot of other things had we known then what we know now. Did you ever wish you had a do over? I don’t have many regrets, but I have a few and all of them relate to something I would have done differently in a relationship had I known then what I know now.
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